It was an ex-PBB housemate (1st batch) who said this: “Big Brother, ginagawa po nila ako laughing stuff…”
Q: Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
A: Dayscare centers.
Q. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
A: Bamboo.
Q. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
A: Boo boos.
Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A: A BOO-logna sandwich.
Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: The Eerie canal, Lake Eerie ! or Mali-Boo
Q. What’s a ghosts favorite ride at the carnival?
A: The roller ghoster.
Q: Where do ghosts buy their food?
A: At the ghost-ery store.
My friend and I were walking up the stairs of our schools new bldg. She said out of nowhere: “Imagine mo kung di ginawa ‘tong bldg, umaakyat tayo sa hangin?”
Nadia Montenegro promoting her movie: “Please watch ‘The Life Story of Julie Vega’, opening na po on the twenty-twoth of November.”
In a burger joint I heard a man say: “Miss, isa ngang ‘amusing’ aloha at saka ‘kidney’ meal.” Server: “Dine in po ba or to go?” The man answered: “Ayoko ng sago!”
I was making cookies at home when I ran out of cookie sheets, so I called our maid and said: “Manang bili ka nga ng cookie sheet.” And she replied: “Ano po, solo o litro?” (coke is it)
My friend said: “Ang galing ‘no, yung Ash Wednesday last year , Miyerkules din pumatak!”
A non-Christian vendor selling a Last Supper painting: “Ma’am bili po kayo ng frame, maganda po ito, ‘Hesus and Company.”
While watching “Apollo 13?, after she heard the line: ” Houston , we have a problem.” My ex-girlfriend asked: “Sino si Houston ?”
My aunt was going to the US for the 1st time. She told us: “Nagpapabili ang tita niyo ng ‘autistic’ guitar. Saan ba nakakabili nun?”
I once heard an emcee say: “Let’s give her a warm of applause!”
Barker ng bus: Ah Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao, Cubao!!!” Pasahero: “Boss, Cubao?”
An officemate of ours told us a story about driving alone in her car: “Alam niyo, pag nag-iisa ako, feeling ko…wala akong kasama…”
I had a customer on the line who had a password on his account. I asked for the password but he forgot. I gave him a clue: “It’s a 4-digit number.” He answered, “Uhm…’ROCKY’ ?”
I overheard a lady place an order at Starbucks: “One cup of chino please.”
An officemate once asked: “Saan sa Quezon City ang Mandaluyong?”
I had a meeting with a friend and I noticed that both of us were wearing stripes. He suddenly blurted out: “Uy, stripes din! It’s the color of the day!”
When I saw that I got a missed call, I said, “Hey, I got a missed call!” My friend said, “Anong sabi?”
We were reviewing for an exam and we were already dead tired. A classmate said, “Hala, brownout!” Pagtingin namin, nakapikit pala siya.
A call center agent told a foreign customer regarding the changing of the due date of her credit card: “Ma’am, I already changed your monthly period.”
A home economics teacher asked us: “How do you make wet floor and tow duff?” Translation: “How do you make wheat flour and tough dough”.
Hambog1: pare alam nyo… ang lolo ko nung nabubuhay pa siya napaka sikat niya dahil cia lang ang sundalong nakapatay ng 300 ka tao..
Hambog2: pare wala yan sa lolo ko…!! wala talaga yan.!! walang ibinuga yang lolo mo ..kasi yung lolo ko hindi lang 300 mahigit 500 katao pa… isipin mo mahigit limang daan…!!!
Hambog3: hoI3x..!! wag na nga kayong mag away jan… alam nyo yang mga lolo nyo ehh..walang binatbat yan sa lolo ko…ohh sayo pare 300 na patay ng lolo mo at sayo naman pare mahigit 500.. ehh sa lolo ko dalawa lang…
NAGTATAWANAN ANG DALAWANG HAMBOG…!!! Wahahahahhaha..!! dalawa lang pala…!!! hahahaha…!!!
Hambog1: ehh…bakit mo naman nasabi na walang binatbat lolo namin..ehh samantalang dalawa lang katao napatay ng lolo mo…
Hambog3: alam nyo kasi yong mga lolo nyo ang napatay ng lolo ko…
Nagtalo ang mga hudyo at instik kung sino ang nauna sa mundo.
Hudyo: kami, dahil kami ang nagpaku kay Hesus sa krus!
Instik: aber, saan hardware kayo bili pako?
(san kayo nakabili ng pako?)